


if i lay here...

by youngreckless



Series: tumblr prompts [9]
Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Phone Calls, Really so much angst, but also a tiny bit of open ending if you squint, kinda MCD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:40:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27593591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngreckless/pseuds/youngreckless
Summary: Prompt - "Lie to me then."
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: tumblr prompts [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2004202
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	if i lay here...

Alec was in the middle of working through the _never-ending_ paperwork when his phone rang. He was almost going to ignore it but then he saw who was calling.

A smile lit his face immediately as he picked up. "You've no idea how much I needed this right now," he groaned instead of saying hello. He didn't need to bother with formalities, though; not when he was talking to his husband.

"Hey," Magnus breathed from the other side.

"Everything okay? Actually, how are you calling me right now? I thought you wouldn't be free till much later."

"No... it, uh, it got over sooner than I anticipated."

"Really? And everything went well?"

"Uh-huh."

"Magnus," Alec said, concern lacing his voice. "Are you in danger? What happened? Do you need me to come there?"

"No... no, I'm okay. Never been better."

"You sound really... out of breath. Where are you right now?"

"Hmm, nevermind that. Tell me what you're doing."

"Magnus! Why are you avoiding my question? I feel like something isn't okay. Tell me where you are, I'm coming there right now."

"Alexander." Magnus winced. "Just– I need you to listen to me right now," he took a breath and let it out slowly. "I can't answer your questions now, I want you to trust me. Please."

Alec swallowed. He'd had a sinking feeling in his gut since he picked up the phone, that _something_ wasn't alright, that he should be there with Magnus right now, and now the feeling had only increased tenfold.

He didn't know what to do. Of course, he trusted Magnus, but that _feeling_ , that Magnus wasn't okay – that something terrible was looming over them, that he should _be there_.

Going against his better judgement, for now, he answered, "Okay. Okay, I'm listening."

Magnus didn't reply for a few seconds. Alec could only hear his breathing, which was heavy, heavier than it should be. He was about to run off into a Portal to Magnus in a panic when the reply came, in a shaky voice that only disturbed him more.

"I love you. I, I just want you to know that. To remember that. I love you so, so much. God, I never thought I'd be lucky enough to experience love with the intensity I'd always heard Tessa talk about. I never thought–" Magnus coughed. When he spoke again, his voice was a tad bit softer, "I never thought I'd have an actual family. I never thought I'd have kids. And all of that still feels so fucking unreal to me – you do. God, how are you even real? It's like you were crafted by the fucking angels. Which I suppose you were. You're a Shadowhunter. My sense of humour isn't at its best right now, forgive me."

There was another pause and Alec was tempted to interrupt but he could feel that Magnus wanted to finish first. So, once again, going against his very best judgement, he decided to keep quiet, even though it felt like a punch to his gut.

"You once told me 'You're my heart, Magnus Bane, stay unbroken for me.' But– while I felt utterly honoured to be loved by you like that– I want... I _need_ you to know that your heart is too big to not encompass the whole world, and then some. And it's one of the things that made me fall in love with you. I–" Magnus breaks off into a coughing fit that sounds _violent_ , to say the least.

Alec cut in then. "Magnus," he spoke calmly once Magnus had stopped coughing and was taking deep breaths. "Magnus, I need you to tell me where you are. I need you to tell me what happened. And _don't_ say it isn't anything. I need you to tell me why you're talking like this. I need you to tell me the _truth_."

Magnus groaned. "Can I not?"

"Okay. Lie to me then," Alec said, in the hope that maybe that would give him a clue to what was going on. He needed to know _something, anything_.

Magnus exhaled slowly. "No, I'll tell you the truth. But I need you to promise that you'll listen to it all before doing anything stupid."

"I promise," Alec said without missing a beat. Because he just needed to know what was going on. He needed to know if something was wrong so he could fix it. So Magnus would be okay.

"Okay, so, long story short, things didn't go as I'd hoped. It was supposed to be a conversation. Those rogue Downworlders... I thought they'd at least hear me out. But you know how extremists are– they didn't want me there. So I tried to tell them that I wasn't there on behalf of the Clave, that I was on their side, but– next thing I knew, I was knocked off my feet with a curse. After that, it was a shit-show. I was heavily outnumbered, of course. I tried to escape but they caught me with a curse before I could act smart. And I don't even know what happened after that. I think I was poisoned. I might have been shot too. I just..." Magnus trailed off.

Alec couldn't breathe. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, and he couldn't _breathe_. Somehow he managed to say, "Where are you now?"

"I'm... still there."

"I'm coming. Fuck, Magnus, don't hang up, okay? I'm getting help and I'm coming–"

"Alec."

"And we're gonna find you and make you better–"

"Alec, listen–"

"Just– fuck, why wouldn't you just lead with that?"

"It's already too–"

"Okay, there isn't any more time to waste now, I'm coming there. Stay on the pho–"

"Alec!"

"What?"

"It's already too late. It was too late even before I called you. That's why– that's why I didn't tell you sooner. I just... wanted to talk to you one last time. Tell you how much I love you. Tell you–" Magnus broke into a coughing fit again, this one the most violent.

Alec didn't know what to do. He had to get to Magnus, he had to save him because Magnus wasn't right, it couldn't be too late, he had to go now, he had to do something, he had to, he had to, he had to–

It couldn't be real. Magnus couldn't just go like this. He knew he was panicking, but that seemed to be the only thing he could manage to do. Because Magnus had always been right. And he _knew_ that Magnus would save himself, would call for help– but why hadn't he?

 _It's already too late_. No, it couldn't be. It just couldn't– he couldn't– Magnus couldn't just _leave_ –

"Alexander," Magnus tried to say, but his words were slurred now. "Alec, my Alec, stay with me. Just... stay wi' me."

Alec tried to swallow the lump in his throat so he could reply. But Magnus probably knew he was there, because he continued.

"You're a great dad, Alec. The bes'. The kids– our kids are so lucky to have you. I want you all to take care of each other. And, tell 'em I love 'em, please? I love them more than I ever thought would be possible to love someone. And you too. God, you. Even an eternity would've– wouldn't 'ave been enough time to tell you how much I love you. And–" he broke off again. "It doesn't 'urt now. I... want... you to, uh, know that. It doesn't hurt, it– I'm okay–"

Alec waited. He couldn't do anything else. He wanted to speak, to tell Magnus how he saved him, to tell him how he changed Alec's life forever, to tell him– there was so much he had to tell him, but his throat clogged up. He couldn't utter a single word. So he waited.

But Magnus didn't say anything. Alec kept waiting, holding his breath, but no reply came for a long time. After what felt like an eternity, he found his voice, only to whisper, "Magnus?"

When there still wasn't any reply, Alec broke.

**Author's Note:**

> @youngreckless on tumblr


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